Breast cancer, Cancer, Hair loss, Humour, Uncategorized

The (Weird/ Embarrassing) Stuff They Forget to Tell You About Cancer

Everyone loves a list. So here’s a few pearls of wisdom I’ve learnt since getting cancer, that I wish I’d known beforehand.

1. One shall have blue-dyed nipples for two months (and counting) after breast surgery. (Brings a whole new meaning to the name ‘blue tit’ – credit to the Gap Girls for this most appropriate of birthday cards!)

2. One shall lose not only one’s flowing locks, but also one’s entire mass of body hair. (On this front, I can happily say that my armpit hair seems to have stopped growing, but the trademark Pricey caterpillar brows are still holding on strong! No comments on the rest…).

3. One’s hair may grow back rather different – so I may return curly, grey or ginger in 2013!

4. One is more likely to get a little chubby than go all skeletal. This is due to a combination of the medically endorsed license to eat whatever you want, sleep as much as possible and do as little activity as possible, and the effects of drugs such as steroids. Fortunately, I have good metabolism…

Which brings me to the final point…

5. With chemotherapy comes constipation. Without wanting to go into too much detail, let’s just say one shall need to be in possession of a darn good book!

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2 thoughts on “The (Weird/ Embarrassing) Stuff They Forget to Tell You About Cancer

  1. Bryan Foat says:

    Interesting – with similarities and differences to my own experience. as you have surely gathered, although there are a range of common symptoms regarding treatments, the different treatments involve different mixes of chemicals and individuals will and do react differently, sometimes in opposite ways:

    1) N/A but not “no comment”…call me crazy, but I’d like to see that… 😉
    2) True. All too true… and future growth is not assured in quantity, quality or variety. My brows took a beating (remember Pink [Bob Geldof] in The Wall as he prepared for the concert?) and never recovered. My body hair jumped ship in about 80%, equally all-over: it was almost like being a baby again… Benefits, like saving on shampoo, conditioner and cuts for the mop on top… less waxing, shaving, etc – saving time and money, but the time saved is unfortunately lost in the additional clean-up around the house…. sweeping becomes necesary several times a day… or you can rub and scrub and get as much off in the tub for that day, but that is only a partial remedy
    3) good luck. my brows are now half-bald / half Breshnev-esque
    4) this varies greatly. some of the drugs actually cause bloating, water retention, etc. in my case i lost 20lbs to cancer before diagnosis (this helped identify that there was a problem) and another 20 during treatment. the C of Cancer also applies to it’s olde-english cousin: Consumption, which i never really understood until I had it.
    5) my problem was just the opposite…

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