If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it’s that cancer is colourful. So far I’ve had green pee, red pee, blue boobs, multi-coloured fingernails… And now I have a green tongue! It has been a lovely shade of lime green for three days and goes just perfectly with my eyes and my t-shirt. The latest must-have fashion accessory, everyone should have a green tongue. (On a serious note, it’s a another side effect of the chemo so I shall be visiting my doctor tomorrow).
Aside from colourful, cancer is also painful. Well, I should really say chemo is painful, because I don’t actually have cancer any more. The pain kicked in about 48 hours after the last chemo session and has lasted the several days since then. So, while it hasn’t given me the terrible nausea I had with FEC, the Taxotere drug has given me the worst all-over body pain I’ve ever experienced. It is an intense, all-over body ache, not like the pleasant and satisfying soreness you get after a heavy gym session, but more like the bone-chilling ache you’d get if you ran two back-to-back marathons at the age of 99. I can feel my bones hurting from inside, and everything is stiff as if I’ve been bedridden for years. My knees felt like they’d buckle when I stood up to brush my teeth and I have to hold onto the banister to come up the stairs. It’s weird to feel like I’m crippled when I’m 30 and perfectly fit and healthy. (Well, apart from the cancer, that is).
Still, at least I feel like the chemo drugs are doing their job. Hopefully the pain is a sign they’re working. It’s been horrible being cooped up in bed for the past five days and it’s like going back to square one with the chemo because whereas I used to know how long the excessive tiredness would last, I don’t know quite how long the pain will last, and the oncologist said it might take me longer to recover this time. Fortunately I have been able to sleep pretty soundly and have had plenty of good books to read. And painkillers. Lots of painkillers.
Speaking of things being colourful, it was only when I stood up long enough to look out the window today that I noticed autumn was here, and it’s absolutely beautiful. There’s nothing quite like the beauty of red, green and yellow leaves. I even managed my first five-minute walk this afternoon to try and stop my joints completely clamming up and failing to function forevermore, and the crisp, cold, sunny autumn air did me good. Hopefully just a few more days of pain and I’ll be back on track.